She fills his heart with joy

The IDEAL MUSLIMAH The True Islamic Personality of the Muslim Woman as Defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah By Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi Translated by Nasiruddin Al-Khattab and Revised by Ibrahim M. Kunna and Abu Aya Sulaiman Abdus-Sabur She fills his heart with joy The clever and sensitive Muslim woman does not forget that one of the greatest deeds she can do in life, after worshipping Allah (SWT), is to be successful in endearing herself to her husband and filling his heart with joy, so that he will feel in the depths of his heart that he is happy to be married to her, and enjoys living with her and being in her company. So she uses her intelligence to find ways and means of opening his heart and filling it with joy and happiness, so that she may become the queen of his heart. She understands that she is the greatest joy of a man in this world, as is stated in the hadith narrated by `Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn al-`As (RAA), in which the Prophet (PBUH) said: "This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman."64 She does not forget that she is the greatest joy in this life for a man, if she knows how to endear herself to him. If she does not know how to endear herself to him then in most cases she will be a source of unhappiness and misery to her husband, as was confirmed by the Prophet (PBUH): "Three things make the son of Adam happy, and three make him miserable. Among the things that make the son of Adam happy are a good wife, a good home and a good means of transport; the things that make him miserable are a bad wife, a bad home and a bad means of transport."65 Hence being a good wife, and endearing oneself to one's husband, are a part of religion, because this offers protection to a man by helping him to remain chaste, and strengthens the foundations of the family, thus bringing happiness to her husband and children. The Muslim woman by nature likes to endear herself to her husband; in doing so she finds a way of fulfilling her femininity and her inclinations to make herself attractive. But for the Muslim woman, the matter goes even further: in seeking to win her husband's heart, she is also seeking to earn the pleasure of Allah (SWT), Who has made being a good wife a part of religion, about which she will be questioned in the Hereafter. So she does not spare any effort in her loving treatment of her husband: she presents a pleasing appearance, speaks pleasantly and kindly, and is a clever and likeable companion. She makes herself beautiful for him She makes herself beautiful for her husband by means of make-up, clothing, etc., so that she will appear more beautiful and attractive, and thus make her husband happy. This was the practice of the righteous women of the salaf, who used to devote their time to worshipping Allah and reading Qur'an. Foremost among them were `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) and others; they used to wear fine clothes and jewellery at home and when they were travelling, in order to make themselves look beautiful for their husbands. Bakrah bint `Uqbah came to `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) and asked her about henna. `A'ishah said, "It comes from a good tree and pure water." She asked her about removing body hair, and she said, "If you have a husband, and you could remove your eyes and replace them with something better, then do it."66 Let those careless women who neglect their appearance in front of their husbands listen to the advice of `A'ishah, and realize that their beauty should be primarily for their husbands, not for their friends and peers. Those women who are failing to make themselves beautiful for their husbands are sinners, because they are falling short in one of the greatest duties of marriage. Their negligence may be the cause of their husbands staying away from them and looking at other women. The wife whose husband only ever sees her with unkempt hair, looking pale and wan and wearing shabby old clothes, is a foolish and disobedient wife. It will be of no help to her if she rushes to beautify herself only when receiving guests, or going to a women's party, but remains looking shabby most of the time in front of her husband. I think that the Muslim woman who is truly guided by the teachings of Islam will be safe from such shortcomings, because she treats her husband properly, and a woman who treats her husband properly is most unlikely to fail in fulfilling her duty towards him. It is one of the teachings of Islam that a woman should make herself look beautiful for her husband, so that her husband should only ever see of her that which he likes. So it is forbidden for a woman to dress in mourning for more than three days, except in the case of her husband's death, when she is permitted to mourn for four months and ten days. We find proof of this in the hadith narrated by Bukhari from Zaynab the daughter of Umm Salamah, who said, "I came to Zaynab bint Jahsh, the wife of the Prophet (PBUH) when her brother died. She called for perfume and applied it to herself, then said, "I am not wearing perfume because I need to, but because I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say from the minbar: "It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day to grieve for more than three days, except for her husband, (for whom she may grieve) four months and ten days."67 64. Sahih Muslim, 10/56, Kitab al-rida', bab istihbab nikah al-bikr. 65. Reported by Ahmad, 1/168; its narrators are rijal al-sahih. 66. Ibn al-Jawzi, Ahkam al-Nisa', 343. 67. Fath al-Bari, 9/484, Kitab al-talaq, bab ihdad al-mutawafa 'anha zawjuha.